Heart of A Rogue: Part One

The Heart Of A Rogue
  
'Blue oh so lonesome for you
why cant you be blue over me'
Blue oh so lonesome for you'

God did that woman have a voice. She could sing just about any note, for any length of time. Something Ah could only dream of doin. It was times like this that Ah wish I could belt out a melody just like that. All deep an rich, filled with the pain of a heartbreak. Mah heartbreak. Ah dont even know why ahm writin about this. Ah guess it does help a lil. Just like Kurt said it would. Damn brother, bein right like that. Oh Ah've dated before, gone so far as kissin boys.  But this was different.

'tears fill my eyes
till I cant see'

The first time Ah kissed a boy he wound up in the hospital in a coma for several weeks. The next boy afta that was Bobby, Iceman. Smooth and cool, his breath was like drinkin a fresh glass of summers first lemonade. Even on a winters afternoon he tasted good. Course this led ta me tastin like that for some days afterwards. But ah didnt complain. It had been good ta touch someone again. Anyone. That relationship din last though. Hes too active with other girls. Found him with Kitty several weeks later. An Ah finally noticed somethin. This curse a mine, is really much worse than Any of the others made it seem. Xavier said he could help, but the things wed been tryin weren't doin nothing. Ah still couldn't do more than kiss mah boyfriend for more than a min or so. So I let him go without much complaint. 'Right?' ya'll're sayin. 'Rogue lettin her man go so easily?' We'll ah did darlins. I Did let him go cause he seemed happier, more comfortable with her. There were others after Bobby, but none I actually wanted ta get close ta. In the end though, Bobby himself was a good enough friend to sit and let me talk ta him when I needed it, though that wasnt often. Ah think I felt so comfortable talkin ta him was cause he wasnt ever listenin. I wanted to talk it out but I din wan anyone ta know. Ah think that was when I finally close mahself off completely.

three o clock in the mornin
here am I
sitting here so lonely

Then he came ta the mansion. With an accent that melted my very soul. Them eyes paralyzed me that first moment. Ah was gone. Ah avoided meetin him for several days. Kept to mah lessons and mah room as much as possible. Though I got the impression that git was tryin ta side swipe me. Sweep me off mah feet with that traditional Cajun Charm. It didnt take him long either. He was sweet talkin, with that perfectly thick Creole accent. Mah heart was his at the very first Chere. He made it obvious what he wanted from me with that staff o his. An don forget them damned cards. Always with them cards. For weeks on end he'd leave one on mah desk or beside table. Everyday for God only knows how long. Till one day Ah caught him alone smokin out back. Logan had lent him a cigar and he looked just as sweet an spicey as any of his Cajun dishes. He reminded me so much of Logan it frightened me. Ah had wanted and secretly loved Logan since the day we'd met in that broke down ole bar. As cold and stiff as he was to anyone around him he seemed to create a soft spot just for me. An ever since id loved him the way Ah'd never loved before. Course the hormones kicked in bout a year later an it was more than just friendship on mah end. Ah wanted him so badly, but of all the mutants out there Ah was the only one who couldn't dare love another person, cause what is love with out skin on skin contact. It aint nothing Ah suppose. Ah had no idea till now just how right Ah'd been. But this wasn't Logan. It was someone else, the new guy, the thief from New Orleans. The only other southerner in all of New York. Course that only added to mah predicament.

so lonesome
I could cry

Seein him there smokin that cigar like it was somethin sexual. He had no idea just how seductive he was. How much mah body ached just ta be close ta him, ta hear his sweet Cajun accent. Skin contact or no, it wouldna mattered. Ah thought it'd be cute ta mistake him fer Logan. So Ah acted like Ah was meanin ta talk ta Logan bout somethin till he corrected me. Though he didn need ta. Alls he did was look at me with them glowin eyes gimme that first wink and Ah melted again just like butter on hot summer day. Course Ah held mah own against him that day, an ever day afterwards despite ever message my entire body was givin me. I wadn't gonna let him get the best of me. With out sayin a word he offered me a puff of the cigar and though it smelled sweeter than strawberry crème pie it tasted just like poison enterin my lungs. Poison, figures that was mah first impression of him. Life just makes sense that way.

Blue
oh so lonesome for you
why can't you be blue over me

It was a touch an go type thing.  Flirtin back an forth like it was a game.  It was a game, the greatest game Ah'd ever played.  Ah loved every minute of it.  He was mine an Ah knew it.  And Ah was his, though god only knows  when he picked up on that.  From his demeanor he knew from the get go.  We was meant to be together.  An we both loved it.  The games continued for almost a year til he took me by the arm looked deep inta mah eyes with his glowin red ones.  An right then an there the games was over.  We was ta be one of the legendary X-Men couples.  An we knew it.  Right from the start. Ah mean what else could we be.  What we had back then was so perfect and so hot ever one wanted a piece of it.  Ah was hotter 'n hell all time wantin him with ever fiber of mah bein.  It got so bad that Ah even stopped talking ta Kurt so much.  Though bless his little blue heart he knew exactly why.  Never asked me why Ah didnt come to see him no more, never worried much about me.  He knew Ah was happy for the first time since my curse set upon me.  


Now thats over

Oh he was so good ta me.  Always with that smirk and a wink.  Always careful not ta touch mah bare skin.  Ah could get comfortable with him an not worry bout touchin him.  Ah could wear more revealin clothin aroun him.  He was always so careful.  

I realize

All that sweetness wasnt ta last though.  The longest it lasted was a summer.  An entire summer of flirtin and teasin and lovin.  Ah loved him so much back then.  Ah didn know enough about him ta know ta hate 'im fer everythin that made me love 'im.  

those weak you whispered

Remy LeBeau took mah heart an soul back to New Orleans with 'im.  Ta be with that woman.  Jus cause she decided she couldn't live with out him.  Somethin bout her fathers reputation an the inheiritance.  

were nothin but lies

Not one word from him since.  No letter apologizin for takin off that way .  No phone call ta tell me he's alright and happy with his wife.  Almos like Ah never existed ta him.  

Blue

Ahm gettin on now.  Survivin as best Ah can with out him.  Been talkin ta Kurt more an more.  Ah can see the sadness and disappointment in his eyes.  Ah know what hes thinkin.  Hes thinkin Remy wadnt worth the effort.  Hes thinkin it was cruel of Remy ta go off an leave me with out a word.  Hes thinkin Ahm better for it.  Bless him.  

Oh so lonesome for you
why cant you be blue over me

Ah cant explain it.  No matta what Kurt or anybody else thinks.  Ah know Gambit.  Ah know Remy LeBeau.  he loves me an I loved him.  

why cant you be blue over me







Blue

Blue oh so lonesome for you

why cant you be blue over me

Blue oh so lonesome for you

tears fill my eyes

till I cant see

three o clock in the mornin

here am I

sitting here so lonely

so lonesome

I could cry

Blue

oh so lonesome for you

why can't you be blue over me

Now thats over

I realize

those weak you whispered

were nothin but lies

Blue

Oh so lonesome for you

why cant you be blue over me

why cant you be blue over me